The Next 30 Days

It’s time for the next 30 day challenge to begin.  I am going to keep this next month pretty simple.

1.       Survive the wedding planning and have a lovely wedding.

2.       Continue running for 3-4 days per week.  I will keep adding this one to the challenge until I feel confident I have turned it into a habit.

3.       Talk to a family member once a week.  We all have such busy lives that a month or more will go by before we realize we haven’t spoken to one another.  It would be nice to keep in touch with my family and stay on top of what everyone is up to, especially since I live over 2000 miles away from them all.

That’s good enough for this challenge.  The wedding is all-consuming so I am devoting most of my efforts towards it. Anyone else out there challenging themselves in any way?

30 Day Challenge Results

Today ends my 30 day challenge.  If you remember, I stated that I was going to try and avoid all alcohol for 30 days and increase my running to 3-4 times per week for 30 days.  So, how did I do? Well….I did not make it 100% but did a solid 80% success rate.

I did cut down on alcohol significantly and only had 2-3 drinks on a couple Friday and Saturday nights.  So that is much better than the occasional drink during the week and several on the weekends.  I am happy with the results but still want to keep this one going as I realized during the last 30 days how unimportant alcohol is to me.  It’s nice to have a cocktail with friends or a glass of wine with dinner now and then, but for the most part I would rather drink water or something else. Plus, it’s a lot cheaper!

As for the running, I had a couple good weeks, one week where I didn’t run at all, and this last week where I got 2 days in. So, a good effort and increase from before this challenge, but not a 100% effort as anticipated.

And that is just fine with me.  I am not going to berate myself for not doing a perfect job on this because I know that would only encourage me to say “screw it” on my efforts and give up.  Instead, I am happy with the progress I made and will push for another 30 days of little alcohol and solid running.  I am planning to run the Disney Princess half marathon with some friends in February 2012, so there is my incentive to keep up the good work.

I’ll just keep pushing ahead with my goals and the results will speak for themselves.

On Motivation

Wikipedia defines motivation as the driving force by which humans achieve their goals.  Some days I can feel that driving force pushing me along in the right direction. Other days, I think my driving force took a wrong turn somewhere and is missing in action for weeks on end.  This appears to be the case for the last few weeks.

For nearly a month now, my motivation has been missing in action.  I have had no desire to do anything in terms of my workouts, bucket list items, or anything else with a goal attached to it.  I’ve simply been focused on reading, wedding stuff, and TV’s fall lineup.  The annoying thing about it all is I completely recognize my lack of effort in my life’s efforts and give myself those negative pep talks to get myself moving to no avail.  Basically, there has been little forward progress in the past few weeks.

Some of this can be blamed on the wedding. I am in the final stretch and really need to make sure everything is done and ready as best I can and I will admit this is my first and most important priority right now.  The only other thing I would really like to focus on as well is my exercise/eating routine.  Everything else can go by the wayside until after the wedding but my weight/health needs to be on the important list as well. The healthier I feel, the more I accomplish so it’s beneficial to me to get that motivation back.

I saw a glimmer of it yesterday and managed to eat well and exercise so I’m hoping my driving force is on its way home again.  Maybe I can persuade it to stick around long term this time. How do you find motivation?

On Friendships

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about friendship and what it takes to be a good friend. I think in terms of being a good friend to someone, I am a 5 out of 10 in terms of meeting the terms of a good friend.  I am loyal and honest in my friendships and I do value the people in my life.  However, I am a lazy friend and I will be the first to admit it.  I do not go out of my way to make an effort to spend time with my friends.  I don’t “go the extra mile” for my pals most of the time and rely on them to make the first move to schedule times for us to hang out.

Yes, a large part of that is because I am a lazy friend, but it’s also because I don’t value myself enough.  I have read that you have to love and respect yourself first before anyone else and that having a great relationship with yourself is the key to having great relationships with others.  Well, to be honest, I don’t value myself too much.  I am very hard on myself, giving myself many putdowns on a regular basis.  Quite frankly, I just don’t think I’m good enough in my own eyes.  The thing is when we feel we are not good enough or worthy of love and attention, our relationships with others suffer.  One must first love and respect oneself before one can truly find those same relationships in others.

Lastly, I am an introvert.  Although I enjoy the company of friends and family, I do love my alone time as well.  I cherish my eveings alone now and then to chill, relax and just do whatever I want for a few hours with no interruptions.  Sometimes I think I spend too muc time alone and can become a hermit so I am working on getting myself out there in the world a bit more.

I think the keys for me to grow as a friend is to be more outgoing, less lazy, and start valuing myself more.  With a little hard work and insight, I can grow and maintain positive friendships for years to come.  What about you? How do you feel about your relationships with others?

Be Good to Yourself

Yesterday was a day off for me and a much-needed one at that.  My to-do list was starting to look scary and most things on my list required me to have the time between 8-5 off, not conducive to my current employment.  So, having yesterday off gave me the chance to get through the majority of my list and spend a little bit of time pampering myself as well.

Why is it so easy for us to take the time to help someone else out to make their life better but we rarely take the time to take care of ourselves?  I find myself enjoying helping others reach their goals and excel in life while letting my own life fall to the wayside.  So, it was nice to take a couple hours yesterday just to spoil myself.  I went out and bought myself some new makeup that I had been eyeing up for several months.  I got my eyebrows threaded, got my hair colored (beautiful blonde for the wedding), and checked out some clothes as well.  I even squeezed in a workout!

The amazing thing isn’t how different I looked, but how much better I felt after some much-needed pampering.  I was happy and carefree from just taking the time to spoil myself a little bit and it makes me that much more excited about helping others find happiness of their own. Take care of yourself first, make yourself a priority and you will have much more energy and excitement to take care of others down the road.

How Things Change...

Ah Fridays. It’s amazing how happy they can make a person. The anticipation of the end of a busy and productive week is rewarded with a wonderful Friday night and two days off to do whatever we want. 

I was just sitting here thinking about how I can’t wait to get home this evening, do a little housework, have dinner and just relax with a glass of wine and maybe a movie.  How times have changed from my college days where I would spend hours eating pizza, drinking cocktails and spending hours getting ready to hit the clubs around 11pm on Friday night.  Now, the thought of just starting my evening at that time makes me tired and I’m only 33!

It’s funny how our priorities change and how alcohol and staying up really late don’t hold a candle to quiet nights and enjoying a beautiful Saturday morning…without the hangover.  I did my crazy playtime in my twenties. Now I’m ready to relax, enjoy and savor my evenings and weekends as much as possible.

I still enjoy a crazy night out every so often but every weekend no longer entices me. Give me a movie and couch time and I am just fine with that.

A Slight Case of Irritation

The road is paved with good intentions. My road is paved so deeply that there is little dirt left to pave at this point.  Although I want to keep this blog upbeat, let’s face it, life can be messy and disappointing at times as well.  No one lives in a happy-go-lucky bubble all the time and I think it’s good to express both the good and the bad to even things out.

I am irritated right now. With myself. Why? Well, because I have all these great intentions, bucket list, goals, etc. to reinvent myself and improve my life and yet my actions are nil at this point.  For instance, I want to lose weight and get myself in shape. Yet last night I stopped for McDonalds, ate way more than necessary, and then proceeded to veg out on the couch for several hours ignoring my lists and goals that I hoped to get through last night.

Yes, it is perfectly okay to chill out every now and then, but I am a perfectionist with an all-or-nothing attitude, so once I do something off the beaten path, I usually call the day a crap shoot and vow to “start tomorrow. First thing, I must stop the perfectionist approach. It just doesn’t work.  Second, be active. Just do it. Get out there and do something. Live boldly. Try new things and get through the necessary stuff on the to-do list.

Usually, after some good progress, I tend to reflect and think, “wow, that was easy.”  It’s not hard to do, it’s just getting started that’s rough.

Take action. One step. That’s all that’s needed. I can do it. So can you!

200

I was not a happy camper this morning. I stepped on the scale, hoping for something positive, and was struck with pure scale evil.

200 pounds

Seriously, how in the hell have I let this happen again? Once I got into the 100’s, I swore to myself (as many of us do), that I would never allow myself to let the scale get that high ever, ever again. Yet, here I am staring straight into de ja vu’ and the big 200. Unacceptable. Frustrating. Depressing.

I let myself be a baby about it and sulk this morning and then this afternoon I put my big-girl pants on again and told myself the truth: there is no one to blame but myself for this number.  I quit working out regularly. I ate at McDonalds several times over the past few months. I continue eating too much, too often, and too late in the evenings.  It’s up to me to change my life and no one else can do it for me.

So, with head held high, I am going to get back on the bandwagon and renew my goals to get myself in shape to ensure I reach my goal weight.  It can be done, I know it can.  I just need to believe in myself that I can do it.

Bucket list item…or how I plan to overcome my recent dance phobia….

If you recall, there are quite a few items on my Bucket List, the list I wrote a couple weeks ago had 83 items and I have since increased that list to 102 items. It’s amazing what you can dream when you read other people’s blogs and stories and get inspired by their journeys.  By reading other people’s lists, I found many items on theirs that I realized I would like to try and that is how I increased my number to over 100.

So, to make sure I’m not just adding things but also subtracting, I’ve decided to look through my list and see which one(s) I could accomplish.  There are a few here and there that jumped to mind but then LivingSocial came to my rescue with a $40 package of pole dancing classes (a $244 value).  After checking out the location to ensure it was in a location that I would actually attend, I have decided to purchase this package and see what it’s all about.  I get 8 classes out of the deal, which is a good month’s worth so that should give me a good idea if this is something I would want to pursue further.  I hear it is an excellent workout and what future hubby wouldn’t want his new wife to have some enhanced dancing skills!

Although I am adventurous, I must admit that taking these classes terrifies me.  Not because I am afraid of dance, I used to be on a dance team in high school and some college, but it’s the weight issue.  I am a chunky monkey right now and know I will feel insecure trying to do something one usually only sees slender, beautiful women doing (at least that’s the movie portrayal).  But, I am telling myself it will not only be a great source of exercise, but I will also cross something off my list, learn and appreciate a new skill, and build up my confidence in myself.  A trifecta of awesome.

Here goes nothing…

On Finding Myself

I am merely 30+ days from getting married and the anxiety has set in. Not about getting married to B. but about all that I still want to accomplish in my life and wondering if he is willing and able to do all the things I want to do.  Also, do I want to do all the things he wants to do?

He and I are similar yet different.  He is Capricorn, which means to me equals steady job, steady life, easy goals.  I am a Sagittarius. Dreamer. Traveler. Always itching to do or see something else.  He is my rock that keeps me grounded and I am the person who nudges him to reach outside the box and try new things he may not have thought he wanted to do at first but turn out to be good experiences in the end.  It's a good match most of the time, I must say.  I just hope my love and hope to do a lot of travel and sight seeing in life won't deter my homebody husband to get annoyed or upset with me. 

There is so much I want to accomplish in life and I have some regrets ( I know-regrets are a total waste of time but they pop up every now and then) about not travelling and seeing the world enough in my twenties.  Why didn't I do that backpacking trek through Europe? Or spend my summers working in different states across the U.S.? Something out of the ordinary...anything.

I know the reason and it's probably why I stress so much now.  It's men.  When I am in a relationship, I attach myself wholly and completely to my guy and give up everything in my life for my relationship.  When I have been single, I am unstoppable. Constantly busy, going different places, trying new things, etc., but when I am in a relationship, I always give up that carefree side of myself to keep the relationship on an even keel.  The sad thing is I lose myself in my relationships and I feel that is where I am at right now.  B and I have been together for 6 years now and, although I do love him deeply and am looking forward to ever after, I am worried about how much further my soul will regress.  Some days I don't even know who I am anymore because I have come to define myself by our relationship as opposed to defining myself by my own values, goals and interests...which is exactly the person B originally fell for in the first place. 

The bottom line is I need to find myself again....piece by piece and start putting those pieces back together again.  Our relationship should encompass more than just the two of us, it should be our wants, needs, desires, goals, and interests meshed together as well.  I won't lie to myself, it will be hard to find myself again and decide who I truly want to be and some things may be met with animosity.  I guess I'll just have to push forward and see what happens.  It's got to be better than losing more of myself every day.

A Brief Rant

I am 38 days away from the big wedding day, which is stressful enough in and of itself.  Then, to top it off, my fiance's grandparents decide that they want to have additional people added to our guest list or else they are not attending. Really? Cuz it's about you, right?  So, my lovely fiance, without consulting me, took it upon himself to decide that these extra people are going to be invited and promised his family without even discussing it with me.  I. am. pissed.

I know I may come off sounding like a spoiled brat but our location only holds 100 people. We specifically chose the guest list months ago and that should have been end of discussion.  Furthermore, if his grandparents are going to be vindictive about coming to the wedding and making a bunch of demands, then maybe they should rethink coming at all. Mine aren't after all.

The only good news in this is that I decided to go for a 3 mile run instead of stuff my face with booze or food.  So that's something, at least.

30 Days

To get myself motivated a bit, I have decided to do a 30 day challenge encompassing two things: eliminate alcohol and increase running.  So, my 30 day challenge, which started September 19th, is to run at least 4 days a week for a minimum of a mile each day and second, no alcohol consumption until October 19th.

For some people, this probably seems very easy and I have to say it's not too crazy of a challenge but I am a girl who likes a cocktail or two in the evenings now and then and who enjoys a glass of wine with dinner...like last night but I abstained! So, this one is a good start for me and I am hoping it will be a great way to reduce my desire for alcohol while increasing my love for running.

It's been a bit of a rough start in that I really enjoy my wine and the occasional beer but I have been strong so far this week and have rewarded myself with an iced coffee for my efforts.  I have also finished two runs for the week and have just two more to go, hopefully one tomorrow and another on Tuesday, I think.  So, a fairly good start so far to my little challenge.

Beyond the 30 days, I have also picked 5 things I want to accomplish for the next 6 months, but I will save that for the next post. I am a girl who loves lists, goals and challenges so hopefully all these motivational tactics pay off. 

Live boldly every day!

In Need of an Active Career

I know I dedicated Tuesday as my weight day, but seeing as I obviously missed out yesterday, today will have to suffice. As I recently stated, I am in need of some serious weight loss.  My goal would be to lose at least 65 pounds to reach my personal happy and healthy goal weight.  There's diet and exercise, of course, to get me there but I also think finding a more active career will help me too.

Back in high school and college, I was employed as a swim instructor/lifeguard.  This meant I was constantly moving around on deck or in the pool swimming with my students for hours on end.  And let me tell you, I. Looked. Awesome.  I was lean and mean with nice curves and tons of energy.  Later in my college years, I also started working at Curves for Women and loved being invested in helping ladies reach their goal weights.  It was a rewarding experience and kept in shape as well as we were encouraged to hula hoop and use the equipment during our work hours as well as help clients with their form and endurance.  That whole time period kept me lean and healthy...constantly looking for good foods and keeping on top of my weight.

Now that I am a paralegal and work in a office setting, I spend the majority of my day sitting down.  Then I usually grab a less-than-healthy meal for lunch and finish the day off exhausted from the draining task of sitting all day that I have a hard time getting motivated when I get home.  It's tiring just thinking about it!  What my body needs is to move more. I think finding a career that is more active would definitely help me to get myself back on track and keep me motivated to stay in shape.  Not to mention the fact that I do not care for my work now. It does not leave me feeling happy or fulfilled in the least bit. 

So, having already purchased the materials, I am going to start hitting the books to get my certification as a personal trainer and maybe even group fitness instructor...first the personal trainer.  I also want to find a job at a gym somewhere, even if I start out part time at the front desk. Just so I can get my feet in the door again and get that sense of purpose back in my veins.  This could be a great step in the right direction for both my waistline and my job concerns.

Bucket List

Back in college, my roommate and I, having more than a couple drinks under our belts, had one of those deep discussions about all the things we wanted to do before we die. The list started off small and innocent enough, but now it has grown exponentially.  I think there are about 86 items on my list right now.  I thought I'd share it and give you an idea of what my list entails.

Crystal's Bad Ass Bucket List

1. Stand at the top of the Sears Tower (now named something else but it'll always be Sears to me)
2. Go on a Segway tour
3. Master the 100 push-up challenge
4. Compete in a military-style obstacle course (mud run)
5. Lose a total amount of 100 pounds
6. Take pole dancing classes
7. Take stand up paddle boarding lessons
8. Become a "domestic goddess"
9. Make a million dollars 
10. Learn patience
11. Run a half marathon
12. Start an IRA
13. Quit my "day job"
14. Kick my negative habits: caffeine, overeating
15. Become an early riser
16. Be a wine connoisseur
17. Make a surf board coffee table
18. Learn to make candles
19. Master playing pool
20. Learn to play chess
21. Get MBA
22. Build a Habitat for Humanity home
23. Save a child through donations
24. Write children's book
25. Watch the turtles hatch in south Florida
26. Become a yoga instructor
27. Learn to fly a plane
28. Attend Mardi Gras in New Orleans
29. Become a computer geek
30. Learn to change a tire
31. Learn to change oil in my car
32. Achieve my ideal appearance
33. Ride a mechanical bull
34. Lighten UP!
35. Pay off all debts (mortgage not included)
36. Rent a hotel for the weekend and just chill
37. See the Grand Canyon
38. Go for a swamp boat ride in the Everglades
39. Climb Mount Everest
40. Get an master's degree
41. Volunteer abroad for at least a week
42. Write a novel
43. Travel to Italy / Paris
44. Become a gourmet cook
45. Learn to play guitar
46. Get married
47. Have a child
48. Get a black belt in karate
49. Become a First Responder
50. Learn a foreign language
51. Go to the shooting range and accurately shoot a target
52. Get scuba certification
53. Tryout for a reality TV show
54. Attend one of the following: Super Bowl, World Series, Olympics, Stanley Cup
55. Make 50 different cupcake flavors
56. Create a work of art i.e. painting
57. Restore a classic car or truck
58. Join an organization i.e. Red Cross, American Cancer Society
59. Learn to knit
60. Get motorcycle license
61. Take hip hop and samba dance lessons
62. Personal Trainer certification
63. Go cliff jumping
64. Go rock climbing somewhere
65. Learn to sail
66. Go parasailing
67. Do a triathlon
68. Take a hot air balloon ride
69. Learn to surf
70. Go hang gliding or paragliding
71. Run a marathon
72. Go on a zip line tour
73. Go white water rafting
74. Take a trapeze class
75. Go skydiving
76. Go bunjee jumping
77. Start an herb garden
78. Go to Las Vegas
79. Go to New York City
80. See Cirque du Soleil
81. Take a tour of the Amazon Rain forest
82. Visit Alcatraz
83. Throw a massive hotel party
84. Hike through a rain forest
85. Touch a stingray
86. Visit Boston
87. Own a house
88. Ride a scooter through Key West
89. Take 1 photograph each day for a year
90. Buy something for my parents that they couldn't afford themselves
91. Leave $50 tip for breakfast waitress
92. Tour the White House
93. Buy the perfect "little black dress"
94. Hike a volcano
95. Take black and white boudoir photographs

Those that are crossed out have been completed, all four of them I think. As you can see, this list has a wide variety of things on it from learning to adventure, fun time, and eliminating bad habits.  I do think it's not only possible to finish this list, but to keep adding on as well.  It's amazing how much we can accomplish in life when we want to.  Seize the day and enjoy every moment you have!

Fat Bride No More

Well, sorta. I was driving home from work this evening after a fulfilling day of keeping myself busy and came to a revelation:

I do not want to be fat anymore.

In the past 2 years, I have lost 65 pounds, bringing my weight down to a heavy-yet-manageable 165. Then some family trouble came about...wedding plans got crazy....and work got interesting and not in a good way (why must everything happen in 3's) and I now find myself having gained back 30 pounds, putting me at a very overweight 195.  Not cute. Not healthy. Not a happy camper.  I've been struggling with this weight fluctuation for the last few months but haven't done much about it.  A work out here...a workout there and then a nice, big pig out session over the weekend.  Victory is so not mine right now.

Today just feels different. I wasn't freaking out after a heavy meal, I've accepted that I'll be a fat bride for my wedding, and I haven't been insanely jealous of anyone who has lost a lot of weight recently to urge me on.  This is me just being totally sick and tired of being overweight and unhappy about it and it's time to do something about it again.  Yes, it sucks to fall off the weight-loss wagon, but as they say: it's not how many times you fall, but how quickly you pick yourself back up again.

It's time to brush myself off, pick myself up and get back on the weight-loss band wagon.  My goal weight is 131 pounds, which is what I weighed my senior year of college.  I was thin and toned and looked damn good! Yes that's 65 lbs away but it can be done.  Anything is possible. And with a 5'2" frame, 131 is not unreasonable at all.

So, I am dedicating Tuesday posts to weight loss/fitness/food love.  Hopefully most posts will be positive, and the negative ones will be learning experiences.  Time to take action. Let's go!

Doing Nothing is OK

We cram as much as we can into the work week and can't wait for the weekend to roll around so we can relax.  However, more often than not, relaxing on the weekend includes house cleaning, running errands, enjoying family time, getting up early, staying up late, and pretty soon we find ourselves staring down another Sunday evening wondering where the weekend went and why we are still exhausted.

This is a battle I find myself in more often than not on the weekends.  I always spend my Saturdays doing errands, all the house cleaning, cleaning the car, etc. and when the chores are finally all completed, I find it hard to just relax and enjoy the rest of the weekend.  Why? Cuz I feel guilty sitting around doing nothing.  I feel like I'm wasting my time by reading a good book or watching TV without being busy. It's stressful being relaxed cuz I'm sitting there thinking about all the things I should be doing while I'm sitting there relaxing. (That is a quote from my dad, who cannot sit still for more than an hour).  I am going to work on changing this a bit.

So this past weekend went as follows:  I spent Saturday busy as hell.  I went running, biking, ran errands, got my hair cut, did a major house cleaning, and enjoyed a nice evening with my fiance. And Sunday?  Sunday I actually took the time to relax.  I watched a good 3 or 4 hours of NCIS reruns (love that show) and floated in my pool with a book for another hour or so.  It was glorious.  I thought about being more productive during hour 2 or 3 of TV watching but convinced myself that just chillin' would be better and, quite frankly, I didn't want to do a damn thing!

Today, I was able to start the dreary Monday off in a good mood, was very productive and work, and still have a small reserve of energy left for this evening...I'm saving it for football :)

Bottom line is it's OK to do nothing now and then.  It's good to relax, unwind, and just enjoy the nothingness of the moment.  They are needed more than we realize.

Live Bold

What does it mean to live bold? Well, for me, that means stepping outside the box...defying the status quo...taking the road less traveled.  Although saying you want to do something and actually being able to do it are two different things.

Let's face it. It is so much easier to follow the norm of society.  To graduate high school in the top 10 percent of your class, to attend a university, graduate and get a job in your field. Get married. Have kids. Save money. You get the idea.  And I'll be honest, this is exactly the path I have been following. I graduated in the top of my class, went to college and am now working as a paralegal. I am getting married in two months and I'm sure we will buy a house next year after our lease is up.  So, in some aspects, I totally follow the status quo. I also like to live bold now and then. 

I've been skydiving.
I've gone bungee jumping.
I've traveled here and there...and want to keep on traveling.
I've had my joyous moments but I can say with certainty that it's not good enough.  I want more adventure, more experiences, more EVERYTHING.

So I say we all get out there and live bold. Do something exciting at least once a week. Live life to the fullest and have no regrets.

After all, most people only regret the things they never tried in life.

Stop Comparing

Such an easy thought to have but sometimes it can be so hard to implement.  Stop comparing.  Now, I cannot speak for men, although I am sure them also compare themselves to others, but we women are notorious for this.  We get it from the media, magazines, Internet articles, our friends, acquaintances, and yes, even our parents.  We are encouraged throughout life to look at other people's lives and compare them to ours.  We always hope to come out on top, but many times we do not succeed and end up feeling like a piece of crap over it.

I will admit that I am big on comparison shopping.  I constantly compare myself to other people...where are they at in their lives compared to me; how much money do they make; career status; married or single; children; the list goes on and on.  Sometimes I find myself on the "winning" end of the comparison and I can breathe a sigh of relief. Other times, though, I feel unproductive, an underachiever, less pretty, less thin, less successful.

The thing to remember, which I am trying to do myself, is that we are all different people and want different things in our lives. Not only that, but we are at different places in our lives no matter what our age may be.  The important thing is to be true to yourself and focus on what you want in life at your own pace.  Live for yourself, not for others.  I read a quote recently that stated, "Comparison is not equal in that you are comparing your insides to someone else's outsides."  That is so true. We need to look within ourselves and live in the moment.  I'm trying to do so one step at a time.

Another Day in Paradise

Sometimes when you get used to the same surroundings, you forget to appreciate what you have.  When I first moved to Florida, I was constantly in awe with how beautiful it was...the palm trees, beautiful beaches, sunny days and green as far as the eye can see.  Now that I've lived here for 5 years, I have forgotten how beautiful this place can be.  I've become so used to seeing palm trees, sand and green grass that I have come to take it for granted. 

Today, I got out of work early and really enjoyed my scenery on my home.  The skies are blue, the sun is shining and everything is green and growing.  So beautiful. I have lovely flowers of all colors on my patio, a tomato plant happily producing my favorite veggie, and a dog who loves to run outside and "chill" in the sun.  The little things we take for granted are still so beautiful and precious every day we are here on earth.  Sometimes all one needs to do is slow down, breathe deeply and enjoy. I live in my own little slice of paradise here. 

P.S.  I never get tired of looking out at the ocean.  As an avid water bug, I love everything about the water and I could stare at the water and listen to the waves for hours on end.  Awww....love it.

It's Race Time Again

Since I live in south Florida, you can imagine how hot and humid it is here during the summer...and spring...and parts of fall, so I am normally a relatively dormant runner during the long summer months.  However, now that September has arrived and races are starting to fill up the running calendars again, it's time to get back into running shape again.  I've done a few runs these past few weeks but nothing that I would call a schedule.  With the new month here, it's time to change that.

I signed up for a quick 5k race on Sept 24th.  That should give me plenty of time to get into 5k shape and get me interested in running again.  Sadly, it will still be quite hot and humid here but with a goal ahead of me, I can get myself to push through I think.  I am also hoping to do an Disney half marathon either January or February also so starting now will be perfect!

I guess there's no better time to start than now!  Oh wait, it's raining out. Well, maybe tomorrow :)

A Trip Down Atkins Lane

With only 30 days to go till I have to get my wedding dress altered and just a wee bit over 2 months till the big day, I need to drop a few pounds and tone up here and there. So, after much debating with myself, I've decided to go on Atkins again.  I've been down this road before, about 8 years ago, and I was able to lose a good deal of weight before giving up on the low-carb craze.  Now, I am ready to hit this baby again and see where it takes me.

First of all, I am not doing the 20 carbs only craze cuz I can't handle that small of an amount. I have decided to stay in the 25-60 range and hope I can see results with that.  Also, I have been and will continue to exercise on a regular basis and am trying to reduce alcohol and caffeine as well.  Those are all for the long term. Although after the wedding, I may increase my carb intake a bit, too.  We shall see.

I've been on the plan for the last week or so and it hasn't been too bad.  A couple days I went over my carb intake but then I add a little extra exercise to make up some of the difference.  The push is for the short-term wedding goals and then I will advance to a more long-term plan after the wedding....or Thanksgiving...or the New Year.

A girl's gotta start somewhere after all! What's your favorite weight loss trick?

Zen of Decluttering

So today, after enjoying my morning iced coffee and a chapter or two of reading, I decided to tackle some of my clutter.  Now, I am not what one would ever call a hoarder or even a messy person.  In fact, I don't like clutter at all and try my best to keep my house neat and clean, although sometimes a little mess tends to accumulate throughout the work week, but overall we have a tidy home.  However, there is always stuff that one has accumulated over time that amounts to a fair amount of clutter. 

So, I started attacking my master bedroom closet. I found clothes I never knew I had, stuff I knew I would never wear again, and other items I am excited to wear in the future.  It probably took me an hour, but I managed to get through my portion of the closet (my other half will have to take care of his side on his own) and then proceeded to the guest bedroom closet for clean up.  I managed to clear out 3 large garbage bags of items to go to Goodwill and two bags of garbage (stuff that wasn't fit for thrift stores).  The cleaning high continued and I cleaned out my dresser drawers, the office, my bookshelves and my end tables near my bed.  It felt wonderful!  Like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  Not only do I get to get rid of all this clutter from my life, hopefully a large portion of it will be donated to help others in need as well. 

All in all, it was a good day and I rewarded myself with some time spent floating in the pool with a good book. Clutter really does lead to chaos and disorder in life and it feels so good to get rid of it.

This is Harder than I thought

So, it appears reinventing yourself is much harder than anticipated.  I think this is the case for a couple of reasons.  First, I want to change everything at once...weight, career, attitude, hobbies, everything all at once.  Isn't that how we humans tend to be nowadays? We want everything to change right now as soon as we decide what it is we want to change in our lives.  Deep down I know everything takes time and being dedicated and pushing through the rough patches will make me a better person overall but damn it, I want it now!

Secondly, I forget how easy it is to stay exactly as I am.  It's a lot of work to change your life.  It can be messy and stressful and downright irritating, which just seems like a whole lot of stress for change.  Those bad habits are hard to break and the couch/tv combo is a tough one to beat.  Not only am I trying to create a new life for myself, I have to let go of some old habits as well.  Lots of work...

It can be done.  The best thing I think I can do is tell myself to take things one step at a time, focus on one main goal and keep pushing until I get there.  It's ok to add little mini goals and things to do to spice things up, but the main goal must always remain vigilant in my mind.

Weight loss is my main goal right now and I am going to start focusing on the exercise portion of it for the next month and make it a solid habit in my life.  That is goal one. I will try to eat healthy as well, but exercise is the main goal.  It can be done.  I just need to focus and remember that nothing worthwhile in life is easy...but the worthwhile stuff is unforgettable.

To-Do Lists: Good or Evil?

I consider myself the queen of procrastination.  I have it down to a science at this point...put off everything I possibly can until the very last minute and then stress myself out while I scramble to complete everything by its required timeline.  That is just the items that have a timeline!  As for the projects, phone calls, miscellaneous errands that can be done at any time? Forget about it....they will sit and collect dust on my poor little to do list.

So, is the to-do list good or evil?  I suppose it's a little of both.  I do get through the items that need to be done and, if nothing else, it is a good reminder list for me of the things I want to do or need to do sometime in the near or distant future.  I think it becomes a bit evil when the sheer volume of items on the list becomes so great that it creates a greater stress in my life than I would have without it.  Sometimes I will make out a list for the week and the number of items is so great that I don't want to do any of them...so they sit and collect dust until I must tackle them or else I just keep shuffling them until I feel like checking one off.  I'd say the to-do list is both friend and foe.  It just depends on what is on the list at time.

In my reinvention, I am trying to decide how I want to handle these lists.  I think I am going to start only putting 3-5 items that I need to get done per week on my list and have a "backup list" for the rest of the items.  Once the main list is cleared, others can be added.  I learned this technique from zenhabits.net. An excellent website that I've been reading for awhile now.  So, that is my goal. To make my list more good than evil...more friend than foe.

In the Beginning....

I've jumped back and forth regarding what I want this blog to be about.  I mean, I know I want it to be all about ME (as most blogs are) but I couldn't decide on a single topic.  So, I have chosen to embark on a reinvention of myself.

Why?

Well, that would be because I am absolutely miserable with the status of my life right now; and what do I do about it? So far, I have been sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself followed by bouts of energy whereby I make 10 different lists with various titles and subtitles explaining in great detail how I will change my life. 

The lists are still unchecked.  I am still a miserable person.  Don't get me wrong, I love life; however, I am not happy with the current state of my life.  I dislike my job (although I am grateful to have one), I am fat, I am frustrated, and I just paid all my bills yesterday and now I'm broke.  So, I am hoping this will be a good attempt to get my life in order, to hold myself accountable to the blog world and get my act together cuz this is getting ridiculous.

Some of my topics will include:

weight loss
frugal/simple living ideas
debt elimination
bucket list ideas and excursions
marriage (3 months from tomorrow!)
good times
bad times
and so on...

Here's hoping for a good start to the rest of the year and better things to come.