The Next 30 Days

It’s time for the next 30 day challenge to begin.  I am going to keep this next month pretty simple.

1.       Survive the wedding planning and have a lovely wedding.

2.       Continue running for 3-4 days per week.  I will keep adding this one to the challenge until I feel confident I have turned it into a habit.

3.       Talk to a family member once a week.  We all have such busy lives that a month or more will go by before we realize we haven’t spoken to one another.  It would be nice to keep in touch with my family and stay on top of what everyone is up to, especially since I live over 2000 miles away from them all.

That’s good enough for this challenge.  The wedding is all-consuming so I am devoting most of my efforts towards it. Anyone else out there challenging themselves in any way?

30 Day Challenge Results

Today ends my 30 day challenge.  If you remember, I stated that I was going to try and avoid all alcohol for 30 days and increase my running to 3-4 times per week for 30 days.  So, how did I do? Well….I did not make it 100% but did a solid 80% success rate.

I did cut down on alcohol significantly and only had 2-3 drinks on a couple Friday and Saturday nights.  So that is much better than the occasional drink during the week and several on the weekends.  I am happy with the results but still want to keep this one going as I realized during the last 30 days how unimportant alcohol is to me.  It’s nice to have a cocktail with friends or a glass of wine with dinner now and then, but for the most part I would rather drink water or something else. Plus, it’s a lot cheaper!

As for the running, I had a couple good weeks, one week where I didn’t run at all, and this last week where I got 2 days in. So, a good effort and increase from before this challenge, but not a 100% effort as anticipated.

And that is just fine with me.  I am not going to berate myself for not doing a perfect job on this because I know that would only encourage me to say “screw it” on my efforts and give up.  Instead, I am happy with the progress I made and will push for another 30 days of little alcohol and solid running.  I am planning to run the Disney Princess half marathon with some friends in February 2012, so there is my incentive to keep up the good work.

I’ll just keep pushing ahead with my goals and the results will speak for themselves.

On Motivation

Wikipedia defines motivation as the driving force by which humans achieve their goals.  Some days I can feel that driving force pushing me along in the right direction. Other days, I think my driving force took a wrong turn somewhere and is missing in action for weeks on end.  This appears to be the case for the last few weeks.

For nearly a month now, my motivation has been missing in action.  I have had no desire to do anything in terms of my workouts, bucket list items, or anything else with a goal attached to it.  I’ve simply been focused on reading, wedding stuff, and TV’s fall lineup.  The annoying thing about it all is I completely recognize my lack of effort in my life’s efforts and give myself those negative pep talks to get myself moving to no avail.  Basically, there has been little forward progress in the past few weeks.

Some of this can be blamed on the wedding. I am in the final stretch and really need to make sure everything is done and ready as best I can and I will admit this is my first and most important priority right now.  The only other thing I would really like to focus on as well is my exercise/eating routine.  Everything else can go by the wayside until after the wedding but my weight/health needs to be on the important list as well. The healthier I feel, the more I accomplish so it’s beneficial to me to get that motivation back.

I saw a glimmer of it yesterday and managed to eat well and exercise so I’m hoping my driving force is on its way home again.  Maybe I can persuade it to stick around long term this time. How do you find motivation?

On Friendships

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about friendship and what it takes to be a good friend. I think in terms of being a good friend to someone, I am a 5 out of 10 in terms of meeting the terms of a good friend.  I am loyal and honest in my friendships and I do value the people in my life.  However, I am a lazy friend and I will be the first to admit it.  I do not go out of my way to make an effort to spend time with my friends.  I don’t “go the extra mile” for my pals most of the time and rely on them to make the first move to schedule times for us to hang out.

Yes, a large part of that is because I am a lazy friend, but it’s also because I don’t value myself enough.  I have read that you have to love and respect yourself first before anyone else and that having a great relationship with yourself is the key to having great relationships with others.  Well, to be honest, I don’t value myself too much.  I am very hard on myself, giving myself many putdowns on a regular basis.  Quite frankly, I just don’t think I’m good enough in my own eyes.  The thing is when we feel we are not good enough or worthy of love and attention, our relationships with others suffer.  One must first love and respect oneself before one can truly find those same relationships in others.

Lastly, I am an introvert.  Although I enjoy the company of friends and family, I do love my alone time as well.  I cherish my eveings alone now and then to chill, relax and just do whatever I want for a few hours with no interruptions.  Sometimes I think I spend too muc time alone and can become a hermit so I am working on getting myself out there in the world a bit more.

I think the keys for me to grow as a friend is to be more outgoing, less lazy, and start valuing myself more.  With a little hard work and insight, I can grow and maintain positive friendships for years to come.  What about you? How do you feel about your relationships with others?

Be Good to Yourself

Yesterday was a day off for me and a much-needed one at that.  My to-do list was starting to look scary and most things on my list required me to have the time between 8-5 off, not conducive to my current employment.  So, having yesterday off gave me the chance to get through the majority of my list and spend a little bit of time pampering myself as well.

Why is it so easy for us to take the time to help someone else out to make their life better but we rarely take the time to take care of ourselves?  I find myself enjoying helping others reach their goals and excel in life while letting my own life fall to the wayside.  So, it was nice to take a couple hours yesterday just to spoil myself.  I went out and bought myself some new makeup that I had been eyeing up for several months.  I got my eyebrows threaded, got my hair colored (beautiful blonde for the wedding), and checked out some clothes as well.  I even squeezed in a workout!

The amazing thing isn’t how different I looked, but how much better I felt after some much-needed pampering.  I was happy and carefree from just taking the time to spoil myself a little bit and it makes me that much more excited about helping others find happiness of their own. Take care of yourself first, make yourself a priority and you will have much more energy and excitement to take care of others down the road.

How Things Change...

Ah Fridays. It’s amazing how happy they can make a person. The anticipation of the end of a busy and productive week is rewarded with a wonderful Friday night and two days off to do whatever we want. 

I was just sitting here thinking about how I can’t wait to get home this evening, do a little housework, have dinner and just relax with a glass of wine and maybe a movie.  How times have changed from my college days where I would spend hours eating pizza, drinking cocktails and spending hours getting ready to hit the clubs around 11pm on Friday night.  Now, the thought of just starting my evening at that time makes me tired and I’m only 33!

It’s funny how our priorities change and how alcohol and staying up really late don’t hold a candle to quiet nights and enjoying a beautiful Saturday morning…without the hangover.  I did my crazy playtime in my twenties. Now I’m ready to relax, enjoy and savor my evenings and weekends as much as possible.

I still enjoy a crazy night out every so often but every weekend no longer entices me. Give me a movie and couch time and I am just fine with that.

A Slight Case of Irritation

The road is paved with good intentions. My road is paved so deeply that there is little dirt left to pave at this point.  Although I want to keep this blog upbeat, let’s face it, life can be messy and disappointing at times as well.  No one lives in a happy-go-lucky bubble all the time and I think it’s good to express both the good and the bad to even things out.

I am irritated right now. With myself. Why? Well, because I have all these great intentions, bucket list, goals, etc. to reinvent myself and improve my life and yet my actions are nil at this point.  For instance, I want to lose weight and get myself in shape. Yet last night I stopped for McDonalds, ate way more than necessary, and then proceeded to veg out on the couch for several hours ignoring my lists and goals that I hoped to get through last night.

Yes, it is perfectly okay to chill out every now and then, but I am a perfectionist with an all-or-nothing attitude, so once I do something off the beaten path, I usually call the day a crap shoot and vow to “start tomorrow. First thing, I must stop the perfectionist approach. It just doesn’t work.  Second, be active. Just do it. Get out there and do something. Live boldly. Try new things and get through the necessary stuff on the to-do list.

Usually, after some good progress, I tend to reflect and think, “wow, that was easy.”  It’s not hard to do, it’s just getting started that’s rough.

Take action. One step. That’s all that’s needed. I can do it. So can you!

200

I was not a happy camper this morning. I stepped on the scale, hoping for something positive, and was struck with pure scale evil.

200 pounds

Seriously, how in the hell have I let this happen again? Once I got into the 100’s, I swore to myself (as many of us do), that I would never allow myself to let the scale get that high ever, ever again. Yet, here I am staring straight into de ja vu’ and the big 200. Unacceptable. Frustrating. Depressing.

I let myself be a baby about it and sulk this morning and then this afternoon I put my big-girl pants on again and told myself the truth: there is no one to blame but myself for this number.  I quit working out regularly. I ate at McDonalds several times over the past few months. I continue eating too much, too often, and too late in the evenings.  It’s up to me to change my life and no one else can do it for me.

So, with head held high, I am going to get back on the bandwagon and renew my goals to get myself in shape to ensure I reach my goal weight.  It can be done, I know it can.  I just need to believe in myself that I can do it.

Bucket list item…or how I plan to overcome my recent dance phobia….

If you recall, there are quite a few items on my Bucket List, the list I wrote a couple weeks ago had 83 items and I have since increased that list to 102 items. It’s amazing what you can dream when you read other people’s blogs and stories and get inspired by their journeys.  By reading other people’s lists, I found many items on theirs that I realized I would like to try and that is how I increased my number to over 100.

So, to make sure I’m not just adding things but also subtracting, I’ve decided to look through my list and see which one(s) I could accomplish.  There are a few here and there that jumped to mind but then LivingSocial came to my rescue with a $40 package of pole dancing classes (a $244 value).  After checking out the location to ensure it was in a location that I would actually attend, I have decided to purchase this package and see what it’s all about.  I get 8 classes out of the deal, which is a good month’s worth so that should give me a good idea if this is something I would want to pursue further.  I hear it is an excellent workout and what future hubby wouldn’t want his new wife to have some enhanced dancing skills!

Although I am adventurous, I must admit that taking these classes terrifies me.  Not because I am afraid of dance, I used to be on a dance team in high school and some college, but it’s the weight issue.  I am a chunky monkey right now and know I will feel insecure trying to do something one usually only sees slender, beautiful women doing (at least that’s the movie portrayal).  But, I am telling myself it will not only be a great source of exercise, but I will also cross something off my list, learn and appreciate a new skill, and build up my confidence in myself.  A trifecta of awesome.

Here goes nothing…

On Finding Myself

I am merely 30+ days from getting married and the anxiety has set in. Not about getting married to B. but about all that I still want to accomplish in my life and wondering if he is willing and able to do all the things I want to do.  Also, do I want to do all the things he wants to do?

He and I are similar yet different.  He is Capricorn, which means to me equals steady job, steady life, easy goals.  I am a Sagittarius. Dreamer. Traveler. Always itching to do or see something else.  He is my rock that keeps me grounded and I am the person who nudges him to reach outside the box and try new things he may not have thought he wanted to do at first but turn out to be good experiences in the end.  It's a good match most of the time, I must say.  I just hope my love and hope to do a lot of travel and sight seeing in life won't deter my homebody husband to get annoyed or upset with me. 

There is so much I want to accomplish in life and I have some regrets ( I know-regrets are a total waste of time but they pop up every now and then) about not travelling and seeing the world enough in my twenties.  Why didn't I do that backpacking trek through Europe? Or spend my summers working in different states across the U.S.? Something out of the ordinary...anything.

I know the reason and it's probably why I stress so much now.  It's men.  When I am in a relationship, I attach myself wholly and completely to my guy and give up everything in my life for my relationship.  When I have been single, I am unstoppable. Constantly busy, going different places, trying new things, etc., but when I am in a relationship, I always give up that carefree side of myself to keep the relationship on an even keel.  The sad thing is I lose myself in my relationships and I feel that is where I am at right now.  B and I have been together for 6 years now and, although I do love him deeply and am looking forward to ever after, I am worried about how much further my soul will regress.  Some days I don't even know who I am anymore because I have come to define myself by our relationship as opposed to defining myself by my own values, goals and interests...which is exactly the person B originally fell for in the first place. 

The bottom line is I need to find myself again....piece by piece and start putting those pieces back together again.  Our relationship should encompass more than just the two of us, it should be our wants, needs, desires, goals, and interests meshed together as well.  I won't lie to myself, it will be hard to find myself again and decide who I truly want to be and some things may be met with animosity.  I guess I'll just have to push forward and see what happens.  It's got to be better than losing more of myself every day.